Another client this morning. She originated that she is "Nervous" most of the time. I noticed that it seemed connected to work, and things she otherwise was excited about or good at. Does she have a part of her that is nervous? Yes, but that is most of the time. OK, but she does have a part of her that isn't nervous? Yes, but it is very small and weak. Still she was actually asking to get rid of the nervous part of her! I didn't oblige her on that, but I inquired about what good qualities was in the nervous part. After the customary initial resistance to the idea, she confesses that it has her strength and power and it really gets things done. The relaxed part is feeling more calm, but isn't strong and doesn't get much done. We have them communicate with each other, learn to accept each other, teach each other something. The parts become much more friendly and exchange information. I then have her hold out her hands with the palms up and visualize a part in each hand. Then having her tell about the difference between them now. Then I ask her to put her hands together and fold them. And immediately I change my use of language to pre-supposing that they are now integrated. Now, with the parts integrated so that she can be both strong and relaxed, calm and powerful, how is that different now? That usually works well if the person is ready for it. Here it did bring in better indicators, but it didn't totally click for her. She still had some trouble thinking of the qualities as integrated. She has a feeling of nervousness also that would tend to keep it from fully working. We did some other work on that, and will continue to do that in the next session. I include this here to express that it doesn't always work perfectly in the first shot, but that is in no way a failure. It fit the polarity model, we worked with it and got a much improved result, but there is more to it.
One person said he felt he held himself back, that he somehow had a "bad boy" inside, and therefore he didn't deserve to do too well. He quickly admitted to having both a "Good" and a "Bad" side. That is not the perfect titles, but that is how he saw it at first. If we can avoid labeling any of the sides in negative terms, that is best. However, that is usually not how the person sees it at first. Anyway, his "Good" side was creative, open, angelic, in tune with God. His "Bad" side was aggressive and powerful, getting things done in a direct manner. He wasn't aware of visual perceptions on these parts at all, but we could get them to talk to each other, getting them to accept and love each other, and learn from each other. When they were pretty well in rapport I used the trick of putting the hands together as above. The two parts integrated and he felt a strong rush of energy. He felt that he could now use all the qualities together or as he chooses. This was his very first session.
Another client was very fragmented and had various kinds of addictive behavior, such as overeating. That fits in with polarity integration, but often isn't a quick resolution. With an addictive type of person it is often the problem to get opposite parts involved at the same time, since they are more forcefully separated. We did a polarity of Vulnerable and Masculine. She actually had a totally different beingness to go with each side. Each one had a different voice and different mannerism, bordering on multiple personality, but not quite. There I was actually talking with the parts directly, instead of through the separation we can usually establish at first. However, gradually as we got the parts to get along better, she became able to separate from them instead of being them. Eventually they integrated into one way of being, with the qualities from both. The result produced immediate positive changes in her life. However, she had much more where it came from to work on in the following sessions.
Another person had a Humble/Aggressive polarity. She had regarded anger as being bad and unwanted, and had tried to be just a sweet and loving person. However, a lot of her power was in the aggressive part. She gradually realized that and started taking responsibility for that side too. They integrated, and since then she has become able to be angry when necessary and to face up to it, instead of suppressing it.